Chapter 10. "Did I make a correct decision?", I was wondering.

Hi, good people...!

I am back again and want to share some of my recent concerns.

I have been thinking about this matter recently and figuring out some of the issues I have not been able to resolve yet. I was wondering how I should face the future. On the other hand, isn't it normal for us to challenge ourselves sometimes? I may not find the answer correctly cause everything flows dynamically. And the question "Are you okay?" is meaningful to me.

My closest circle knows how ambitious and passionate I am about exposing myself to international vibes. I decided to throw myself into the journey where I am now since high school, and I did it eventually. I was seeking and figuring things out by myself without fearing anything. I came to my trusted people and had face-to-face discussions, trying to absorb every valuable knowledge and life lesson at the point where I needed to give my all power and effort to have some privilege, which meant so much to me. One by one, I am starting to achieve my dream and step ahead from what I did not have into what I must be grateful for. 

Then, at the stage where I realized that life isn't a stagnant point; there is so much life-changing, depressing, and stressful stuff, I came up with a more peaceful mind to face every little down in life. The best and the smoothest transformation will always be a Fata Morgana in someone's eyes. The truth was harrowing back then, and I felt ashamed of myself. But, everything will cost something in return. 

I got to know my younger version of mine. It took quite a long time to know who I am, literally. However, I may not have known myself entirely. 

I am trying to develop and skill myself to be stronger every year. With the experiences I gained during my journey, I have the security to believe in myself. Whatever my decision, I will take any responsibility, and every step I assume will be okay. The day when I graduated from college. I found myself on track, and I am proud of myself. Not because I can achieve the goal as planned but because I can survive and not give up on what I want to be. 

Then, the story began with another new journey. Without fear, I had to convince myself that I would challenge myself. I continued to graduate school in Japan. It is not my true hope, but who knows If I can find it useful for my future. Being an introvert would likely make it easy for me to adapt and survive in an anonymous life. With confidence, I said to myself that I would be okay and I could beat any challenge without fail. One (1) month passed, and I did not feel any serious matter. Two months passed, I felt a bit struggling, and three months are ongoing,......

........I felt doubtful and questioned myself. "Did I make a correct decision?". 

Perhaps I am just too exhausted and not thinking clearly, or this is the sign I should remake and replan my master plan again. I know it is still the beginning, but somehow, my inner self wants to tell me that I need to move faster or I will lose my way. I have warned. I have tried to clear my mind and restart or calibrate myself, but it has not worked. I am still figuring out what I should do. Sometimes, I can get what I should do, but the other day, it came with the same problems: doubting and wondering if I can change the decision or move forward to the correct path where I want to go. However, this is my concern that I should deal with. 

I believe that seeking what we want to be is a matter of trial and error. We can decide now, but we will question whether our decision is possible later. 

But, I will always suggest you believe in yourselves and never doubt to make any changes in your life.